A measure of then and now.....

With respect to my Owner,

Take a look at these 2 photos. The one on the left was taken when I first joined SL and stumbled upon the place I like to call my home from home....Dark Den's Glint. The one on the right is a photo taken this morning at home...I think it's fair to say I have changed quite a bit and not just in looks....I have grown....I have adapted....I have found myself and I am happy!

signed his submissive owned 

Christmas Morning

With respect to my Owner,

To everyone I know Merry Christmas! - I hope you all have a wonderful day!

To my Owner....Merry Christmas love

signed his submissive owned

Christmas Wishes

With respect to my Owner,

I overheard a conversation today between a father and his young daughter...they were discussing Christmas and of course being as she was a child I was taken by surprise when she said to her Father a conversation that went something like this.....

Daughter - "Dad every-one at Christmas gets to give and receive presents don't they?"
Dad - "Yes it's a tradition"
Daughter - "Just a present?"
Dad - "Not just a present it's about showing the ones you love like family and friends that you care and some just make wishes"
Daughter - "Wishes" after a pause she continued "If you make a wish does Father Christmas make them come true?"
Dad - "Well depends what it is but if you have been good all year and the wish is for another's benefit then he will try. Why do you ask?"
Daughter - "Can I make a wish for you Dad because I have been a good girl"
Dad - through laughter "well I am not sure you have been completely good this year but it can't hurt to try"
Daughter - "I wish Father Christmas would bring Mummy back because you have been so sad since she went to be an angel"

I can tell you there was suddenly silence in the shop....we all looked at them and her Father gulped lost for words....she carried on
Daughter - "When he does I would like a cuddle from her too because I miss her"

Now right at that moment you could have heard a pin drop her Father was clearly moved and before he could reply she said
Daughter - "Of course if I haven't been good enough this year for him to do that I will be extra good next year"

What do you say to that? Well let me tell you what happened next....her Father was close to tears and I was closet to them how could I not step in and take the pressure off a little so I reached out to them both

Me - "What a beautiful wish and I am sure that Father Christmas hears that wish but you know not all wishes can be granted and it's nothing to do with if your good or not remember Father Christmas is only one man and has to deliver all the presents and wishes of the entire world in one night sometimes he can't deliver them all but knowing that you made the wish is more special than actually receiving it and that makes you a very good girl indeed" I paused and winking to her father I simply said "if Father Christmas can't deliver the wish but agrees that you have been good I am sure that he will leave you an extra present as a reward and thank you on Christmas Morning"

She looked at her father and with tears in his eyes he nodded in agreement as the woman behind the counter handed the girl a couple of sweets to distract her and me I was given the biggest hug and thanked by the man for stepping in when he struggled to find words....and that got me thinking....

We can't all have what we want at Christmas...family members who have passed away...love ones who may be to far away from us through choice or circumstance....money may be too tight....close friends may not be as close as we would like them to be....so this Christmas follow her example and make a wish if all the world did that it would be a much better place

signed his submissive owned

Submission - my thoughts part 2

With respect to my Owner,

So it happens that when I put pen to paper a couple of weeks back and poured my heart out that every word I said really was spot on.

Submission comes from the heart....when 2 people love each other...2 people who are cut from the same cloth....2 halves of the same circle who join together as we have they act like keys and unlock parts of each other that others could never reach....Submission is about who we are as individuals and together as a couple...the 'Vanilla' part or our relationship is the baseline....the rest has been built on a sturdy foundation...there is no right or wrong regardless of what people may say or think it's what feels right for us as a couple.

Submission and the lifestyle it creates within a couple in the form of D/s or M/s (or in our case O/o) is what makes our relationship tick and completes us....its what gives us the inner strength and the feeling of peace that allows us to be together even when we are apart

Today I spoke with  Jennys Willful (from Darkside Clubhouse BDSM Academy) and she helped me to gather my thoughts...to make sense of my feelings she made me see that I already had the tools in front of me that what I was thinking was correct that I am already in the lifestyle that I crave and my Owner is the key...together with him we are what makes this work....he and I as a partnership as lovers as friends and now as my Owner as he encourages me to seek the comfort and joy I receive from this while he is by my side and I am by his

So much of SL can distort what the Submissive lifestyle is about and yet here my Owner and I are living proof that not everyone just plays at the lifestyle in SL...it can work no matter how hard it may be with the distance at times and more than that what we have is the most beautiful and natural thing in the world!

Finally thank you Jenny....you have allowed me to feel free...you have helped me to see that I am normal....that I am right to feel that the relationship I have with my Owner is something that is rare to many but understood by those who understand the world in which we live as a couple...as you said yourself 'Submission is ONLY what it means to you' and that one sentence sums it up for me!

Here is a link to Jenny's Blog please take the time to read it jennyswallows.blogspot.com

So to my Owner....I know what is is that makes me tick I know what it is that I want and that is you and what we have now and always

signed his submissive owned

An apology....

With respect to my Owner,

Life has a habit of sneaking up on you and biting you hard and square on the backside....I have tried to write in my blog for over a week started some and stopped again....both my Owner and I had to deal with an issue and then I had other RL issues to deal with but finally I have come out the other side of it and am smiling and able to write again....it's been like writer's block....laughs...so let me say I am very sorry and will now pick up the pace once more and stop being slack

Now I am back on top of things and feeling more like myself and I have a few new projects in the pipeline....grins....I am sure in time people will learn of them but for now I am playing the cards very close to my chest!

Oh and to my Owner who has been my rock and my soundboard as I have poured out my frustrations and bent his ear for hours at a time...Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

signed his submissive owned

Hard day!

With respect to my Owner,

Some days everything seems just like a struggle...today has been one of those days...couldn't sleep properly...woke up several times...got up early well early...had a bad day at work....had problems logging into SL and yet through all this I was able to smile because the best bit of my day has been the contact I have had from my Owner who just makes me glow from top to toe...so for now there really is nothing to report I just need to have a better day tomorrow!

signed his submissive owned

A lesson for us all!

With respect to my Owner,

You know I learnt a valuable lesson once, taught to me by someone who hurt me real bad long before I ever joined SL.....

'Sometimes it is human natures way to read between the lines....if you write or say something that is vague it is open to interpretation that means that sometimes it is better to stay quiet and say nothing at all rather than say something that could come back to bite you on the arse or hurt others'

After reading another persons blog I read between the lines, rightly or wrongly, shared my concerns on the subject and voiced my own opinion to something that I felt was a personal attack on my Owner and I, in defence I wrote a rather long and in depth post which I have now toned down to what your reading as I have now cooled down some what over the subject.

I still believe that the post concerned by the other person was written very vaguely indeed although others may disagree with my opinion on that!

signed his submissive owned

Spending Time with my sister Tara in Melita

With respect to my Owner,

So tonight I left the kids with a babysitter and even though I wasn't sure about leaving our newest member less than 24 hours after his birth I felt it would be good for me to get out and about...so I decided to grab a boat from our pier outside to Melita and head to see my Sister Tara.

On arrival at Melita she was talking with other residents on the Island Rholes and Ana who she introduced me to before we got into our usual sibling rivalry talk and the name calling started...ever since she became a Slaver on the island her tough streak has become more and more obvious...still I did manage to give as good as I got and after a while we headed to the tavern for a drink before moving on to her place to discuss clothes make-up hair and our partners

Finally not long before the boat came back to pick me up to whisk me home once more to my Owner and children we sat on the beach and chatted just as 2 loving sisters would do discussing the world and remembering fond and not so fond memories....all to soon the call of home was to strong and I headed home blowing kisses to Tara and sending my love to her Pry and their children as she sent her love to Odin and our family

I do so enjoy times like this when we get together and have girlie talk after a cat fight of words!

Submission - my thoughts

With respect to my Owner,

Wikipedia definition of 'Submission' - the act or state of deference or acquiescence to a stronger power. It may refer to:

• Submission (emotion)

Submission to me means more than just emotions it's giving myself entirely to one person....creating unique unbreakable bonds....trusting the other person 100%....putting love, honestly, respect and trust above all other emotions....surrendering to that person the one that controls and commands you without fear or hesitation in any and every situation that you come across together or apart.

See my life has changed a lot....from the day I met my Owner this need to submit has been in the background eating away at me slowly until finally I realised that it is a desire and need that I must fulfil. As we have become closer he has watched how I give myself to him and has grown to love how this act makes him feel. Many a time have my Owner and I discussed our desires and this particular one of late has been the one that keeps coming up. It has become stronger with each passing day and I have been trying to understand it and gain insight into it. On my quest to do so I have spoken to a few people on their understanding of submission and tried to understand what it is that makes me tick...what it is that makes me submit to my man in the way that I do and I have come to the conclusion that it is partly because of the following:

I am not a religious person as such, some weeks I attend church and gives thanks, (maybe I don't do it often enough), if and when I feel the need to do so, (I figure he upstairs and I have an understanding...he can see what I do on a daily basis and if he was unhappy I am sure he could tell me...why travel to his house each week to give thanks when you can thank him anywhere?), however that aside one thing has struck me and your either see it my way or not (I am not here to force my opinion on you) we all know how according to religion the world was made and how all people evolved from Adam and Eve some say that Adam was the one in charge as he was created first and ultimately Man is the more dominant life form and others say that Eve and Women are more dominant as she was made after him from his rib as a correction to what God had done wrong when he created Adam....personally I have no opinion on this I find the whole story hard to swallow but I do know one thing that slowly I am learning that as a woman I still hold men as the stronger sex in my life regardless of my beliefs.

Don't get me wrong I am not weak I am a strong willed person, I have always believed in equality of women and my job role means that I do actually work in a male orientated environment (I am the only woman in the company I work for) however with that it does mean that I have to ooze control and take command over various situations all day everyday in my work life. Outside of work I crave the control of some-one else to give me a break from having to decide everything. I want to know and feel that some-one else is looking out for my best interests on a daily basis. I want to follow the command of another to shelter me from the worlds demands that I have to deal with everyday...I need direction, love, honesty, protection, trust and satisfaction.

This is where Submission comes in....with my Owner controlling over me, commanding me and loving me as he does I am able to surrender myself to him and let him guide and protect me. There is a certain amount of comfort that comes from knowing that he is there whenever I need him. With him in control I feel the security of our relationship wrap around us like a security blanket....it makes me tingle in delight and smile....his collar around my neck means that he is close at all times no matter the distance and when situations overwhelm me it is there to remind me that he will guide me and offer me the support that I need.

He spotted this need in me long before I knew it existed or at least recognised it....slowly he and I have built up this Owner/owned relationship and he is now taking more control of me and is starting to test my limits in response to my submission as our relationship deepens and this part of us now becomes the major force behind us as a couple. Yes we love each other just as all couples do and have a 'Vanilla' relationship that forms the basis of us as a couple, I support him in everything he does not just regarding me but in life in general and when needed give my opinion, I am hear to listen to him to love him, to be his partner and around those that would not agree with or understand our Owner/owned relationship we behave just as any couple would but together with others of like minds and behind closed doors we both have a need to submit and control each other in our perspective roles. We are both aware that this need and desire will only increase over time and are both fully prepared to do so.

So for me Submission is all about the 2 of us, its me putting my life in the hands of another, it is me finding my place in the world, confirming where I belong and being able to give the man I love the most amazing and unique gift of all...me, all of me, no barriers, no hiding....I am able to be with him the person I am under the outside shell that the rest of the world normally sees.

signed his submissive owned

A new Baby....my Family is complete...for now

With respect to my Owner,

No better Christmas present than a baby!

As I write this our beautiful house is filled with the sounds of a small baby crying....yes finally tonight my Owner and I had our new addition a baby boy arrive....he was born 1:34pm pst on Sunday 5th December 2010 and his name is Legion...his is to join his older Siblings his twin brothers (our princes) Malin and Edson and his little sister (our little princess) Laci. All our children have names that mean something and Legion is no different his name means 'An important warrior' and is Old English and American.

Hard work over!

Legion was a water birth just like his older brothers and it was a beautiful moment between Daddy, the little one and Mummy....Dad was right by my side as I pushed our little bundle into the world and as a family we all are doing brilliantly.

Recovering together

So tonight as we settled in front of the fire to recover....the baby cooing as his siblings looked at him curiously and the dog guarding us all as he always does I couldn't help but realise how lucky I am to have such a young and beautiful family....for now my Owner and I are not having any more children....it is time he and I had time for each other and let the children grow up together.

This Christmas the house will be filled by sounds of laughter, squeals of delight, the discipline and grumbles of a happy and tired Father and Owner, a mountain of used wrapping paper and the smell of beautiful home made cooking prepared lovingly for her family by a happy and carefree Mother and owned submissive.....Will I moan when I spend boxing day clearing up? Hell No! This is how a family should be!

When the time is right to expand I am sure we will have another baby but for now we are happy, content and complete...we are a family of 6 plus a dog!

Signed his submissive owned

A Brilliant day!

Dressed to thrill and please

With respect to my Owner,

Some days are just good days, some are great days and some are brilliant days...for me today was one of the latter days...I had chance to sort myself out some new make-up and hair...Master and I had fun with each other and others....we went silks shopping and I have so many silks now I have no idea what to do with them all...oh hold on yes I do I get to wear them all...grins

We spent a lot of time with each other today until business (RL) called him away (marred only by a small incident involving a patient at the clinic that made me realise just how much he strives to protect me and made me feel so loved wanted and needed but also made me feel proud to have him as my owner) and after he left me and with a babysitter arriving to look after the kids and the dog I headed out to the Bordello looking gorgeous in a set of new silks and matching cloak...it wasn't busy to start with but over a small amount of time it started to fill up...and as time progressed lots of people I loved and cared about came into the Bordello....I spent the rest of the evening in the company of one in particular which was wonderful and it finally feels like everything is back on an even keel once again

Signed his submissive owned

Christmas approaches

With respect to my Owner,

How cute is this picture below? Here is me and the kids with Farshore Pup getting ready for Christmas and beside it the stockings over the fire place for us all....I just love this time of year and I can assure you that the kids will have to learn to love it to!

Signed his submissive owned