Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Christmas is coming...

With respect to my Owner,

So tonight I wished my Owner Merry Christmas as he prepares to join family for Christmas and New Year, the break will be good for him and I bravely kept my tears back as I said goodnight.

I am a very soppy person and my Owner would never expect anything less of me, over the past 3 years he has got used to my little ways...I dare say the tears will flow as my head hits the pillow tonight not because I don't want him to have a good time but because I just want to be with him and around him especially at such a magical time of the year but once tonight is over I will have adjusted to him being missing and once he notifies me he is at his destination I will relax. I too am going away but not for a few more days.

It's not like I wont hear from him of course I will and probably more often than I do every day...its moments apart like this that bring you closer and tighter together and before we know it the New Year celebrations will be over and he will be back at home and our normal daily routine will commence we will both have stories to share and bond over.

So to my Owner....I love you...stay safe for me...can't wait to speak to you and hear from you over the holidays and will miss you like crazy...but more than that...Merry Christmas...enjoy every second of it

signed his submissive owned

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

A difficult journey...

With respect to my Owner,

It's been a while since I have posted here...I won't lie that the last few months have been hard....RL has turned our lives upside down we have had to deal with some hurdles that no-one should ever have to deal with.

I won't explain the reason for the hurdles that's something that my Owner and I share with only the closest of friends but to each one of them (and by god you know who you are) I think I can speak for both of us when I say...Thank all make each day that little easier...your smiles your hugs you encouragement...its what keeps us going...especially me.

What I have learnt over the last few months is that sometimes nothing can prepare you for the range of emotions us Humans suffer from...sometimes the sheer intensity can not only knock you sideways but take you to hell and back in a single heartbeat!

So right now I am in a reflective mood and looking back on the past few months and as the new year approaches I have chance to look forward knows what the future knows what lessons we may learn but one thing I do know...

My love for my Owner is stronger than ever, in each other we grow in strength and support one another and with the love of those who surround us we can and will defeat anything and everything thrown at us

signed his submissive owned

Sunday, 9 September 2012

When pictures say more than words...

With respect to my Owner,

There are no words to add to this except quite simply...Thank you...and...I love you

signed his submissive owned

Saturday, 18 August 2012

For my Owner...

With respect to my Owner,

This says it all...

"I Won't Give Up"

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well, there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

Well, I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

signed his submissive owned

Monday, 16 July 2012

One Year on...

With respect to my Owner,

Time stands still for no-one...that's certainly true in our case...365 days since we got married has flown by. Thats right today is our 1st wedding anniversary.

In 12 months so much has changed but one thing has remained the love for my Owner, my Man is stronger than it has ever been and grows day by day.

As with all stages of out Relationship we have had many hurdles to jump over and have more in our path but together hand in hand as one we move forward and squash everything that stands in our way.

One year ago today on that boat we made our vows and celebrated our love together in front of all those who mattered and every word of those vows were heart felt.

Now as we lie on the couch together in our house the children asleep we have a quiet moment for just us.

Who knows what the next 365 days have in store for us but whatever it is we will face it together in both worlds

Odin Farshore my Husband my Owner my Man - I love you more than words can say and am thankful that I have you in my life. I am quiet simply put...better for knowing you....that chance meeting at the breeding motel allowed our paths to cross and has carved out a path for us that neither expected. I am yours always and your sweet Selina x

signed his submissive owned

Sunday, 1 July 2012

When writing becomes to hard...

With respect to my Owner,

A lot of things have happened since my last post....both in SL and RL.

The RL stuff I can't talk about so I'll talk about the SL stuff for now.

The Farshore household has gained 3 new members all girls and all adopted. Tam is 7 and Carson and Sophie are both 4 but not twins.

They have filled the house with much needed laughter, my Owner however due to business commitments is not at home much in fact he hasn't been home for the last couple of weeks the girls miss him terribly.

Me...I miss him...I miss his command, I miss his control, I miss the simple pleasures of being at his side and the bed is empty without him

Right now as I sit in my lounge the girls taking a nap I stroke the growing bump that carries the most precious of cargo, the life that we have made together...yes we are expecting twins again...due start to middle of December and their girls. They already have names...Hope and Faith. They will be loved like all our children are but these two have a very special and powerful meaning. They are the future.

signed his submissive owned

Monday, 23 April 2012

Picture that says it all

With respect to my Owner.

Need I say more?

signed his submissive owned

Monday, 9 April 2012

A late celebratory Post and a promise of things to come...

With respect to my Owner,

Most dates don't go unmarked in our household as my mind pretty much remembers them all and last week was no exception. Last Tuesday April 3rd was the 2nd anniversary of my Owner collaring me as his and next Monday April 16th will be a year since I registered myself as a collared submissive on the TSR register! How quickly time flies and in just over 3 months Mr and Mrs Farshore will have been married a whole last night amongst all the the talking we did I suggested to my Owner that we should hold a party to celebrate our wedding anniversary and of course he said all I can think of is what to watch this thing I do know...I will be getting my Wedding Dress out again because I know my Owner loved it so much and I am pretty sure he won't mind seeing me in it again!

signed his submissive owned x

Easter Monday...

With respect to my Owner,

To explain how I feel is not easy...there are many things that have lead to this moment...many thoughts and feelings which rightly or wrongly I bottled up...OK so I have come to realize that I am...shock horror...Human.

This all started to come to a head in February...let me see if I can piece this Owner started to feel ill in December...I remember at the time that we both assumed he would get better and instead he got worse...Christmas and New Year passed by rather quietly but we were content in each others company and that is all that mattered.

The New year started and secretly I was worried about my Owner but I knew that me fussing would not help and trusted that he would seek help if and when he needed it...come the end of January he did just that and relief swept through me...medication seemed to be helping...he was getting better and then he went the other way now he was in incredible pain and I was beginning to realize that him being online for hours at a time was hard work because of the pain he was in and I totally understood that but it was also hard not having him around. By the time March came well it was even harder.

To explain this you have to understand something...since the day we met on Second Life there has hardly been a day gone by when we haven't been in contact in some way shape of form and apart from when either of us don't have Internet connection like away on business trips or visiting family we do tend to spend most days on line together at some point be it a couple of hours after he gets in from work or all weekend on and off. For us Second Life is the visual part of our relationship. We have a home, Family, Friends and even Work there. For me when he is not online our home can seem very lonely and quiet.

Now something I have come to learn is that any Slave or Submissive does indeed, as part of their submission, look to their dominant for every decision and now suddenly I was faced with a new dilemma...sure he had been away before or not online for days on end and I had dealt with that and learnt that it was OK in those circumstances to be in charge temporarily but when faced with prolonged absence it is a whole new ball game.

Without realizing it (or maybe subconsciously I did realize it) I had withdrawn myself into my shell, staying at the house more...I was busy of course I had the twins to look after, then there was the clinic, a new photo project and many other small jobs. But at the same time I wasn't interacting as much as I would have done before with others. This all coincided with RL work being a bit strained and tense and now I was torn. SL was my life with my Owner the life that one day in the not to distant future we will have as our RL but with my Owner ill and my thoughts turning to him I was struggling. Not in a bad way it just meant that I needed to find myself. I needed to get my thoughts in order and make my Owner proud.

Of course during this time I experienced moments when I have begun to question myself.
Had I let him down?
Was I to much when he is so ill?
Should I give him more space?

Yes you may laugh and fail to understand how I could be thinking such thoughts and I know my Owner if he was here would hold me right now and tell me in no uncertain terms that I was being silly and that I should have told him...but how do I admit to him that I was at a loss and I was weak in his absence? I am not a weak person not by any stretch of the imagination but one thing that does get to me is when the man I love is in such pain and I can't do anything to help. When there are long pauses or no communication it can be hard, when he is not able to join me online and come for a hug it gets to me not all the time just sometimes and if other things like work are getting to me it seems to magnify the situation. His control is something I crave and when I can't get it, well to put it hurts.

My Owner tells me that nothing I could say to him would make him freak and run around with his hair on fire, which although that makes me laugh is also a comforting thing to hopefully that's still the case after he reads this :P

The point I am making is that I have learnt that I do have a very vulnerable side to me...a side that I didn't really know existed but now that I do I am learning to deal with it...I think its part of the nature of a submissive to feel loss when things change...hell I think it's just a human thing fall stop and being a woman and more sensitive to that I guess it was bound to catch me out one day.

However in the last couple of weeks I have begun to get back on top of things again and am being open and honest with my Owner and shared with him a dream I had the other night which scared me half silly for no reason and is the reason why picking up my blog has become important to me. Here I can say how I feel and know that it's out in the open even if my Owner is not around. Some things I refuse to state here because it's just to personal and for that we have email and times when we can be together in one way or another.

I am a lucky woman to be the submissive owned of an amazing Owner such as Odin and I never forget that. So much so he is buying me a new RL collar because I have in essence out grown my everyday collar now. I know he loves me, I know he wants me, I know I am his and I know he would not change what we have for the world. Likewise he knows I am his, he knows that I need him and love him very much and later this year we will be together at last and neither of us can wait for that but right Owner needs to concentrate on getting better and I need to continue to do him proud.

signed his submissive owned

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Gulps...Update and Changes

With respect to my Owner.

OK so it has been a while since I have written on here...I am ashamed that I have failed to keep up my blog but well quite honestly...I have had other things on my mind.

Since my last blog in February my Owner is still unwell but there is light at the end of that tunnel in the not to distant future and hopefully then my Owner will return to full strength and be back firmly in control once more.

That said there is some good news...I have a new RL collar coming soon...I can't wait...more news on that to follow shortly.

So onto the reason for my post...While my Owner has been absent more of late for obvious reasons we have been in touch in other ways and he spends time with me when he has made me realize how much I love him (OK so I knew that already) and how devastated I would be if I lost him...but as a submissive it has also raised some insecurities (be them temporary and totally insane, but raise them it has). So I spoke to my Owner this evening and got his permission to explain all in detail on here...I find often that I can communicate so much more easily on here when words fail me elsewhere and I know that he reads my posts.

So as tomorrow I am at home I shall be updating my blog and will write about the insecurities that have been driving me mad...they are not a bad reflection on my Owner or on me but show the process that a submissive goes through and how my head has been dealing with situations as they arrive and I hope that the process will help my Owner to understand my feelings allow me to express myself more and may even help others.

I will clarify right here and now that my Owner and I are perfectly fine...we are as happy as we have always been if not happier

signed his submissive owned

Thursday, 23 February 2012

I am so bad....

With respect to my Owner,

I am so bad...there i said it...let me apologize it appears that I have managed to neglect my duties and not fill in my blog...I haven't written anything since New Year's Day! How bad is that I mean the end of February is just around the fairness though both January and February have been busy months for me in both SL and RL.

In SL I opened my clinic...which has been a wonderful and rewarding Owner and I have been trying new places and creating new RP experiences...and there is a possible new development in store in weeks to come but for now your just have to keep guessing...and no I am not pregnant! Owner is even developing his own group of Breeder Sluts as I lovingly refer to them as...chuckles

In RL work has been a bit stressful and keeping me busy but more than that and way more important than anything Owner has not been well and I have been extremely worried about him...however I hope he is over the worst now and heading on the path to recovery even if it seems to be taking a long time...and on that note regarding my Owner he is away right now on a well deserved break...of course I miss him like hell but it's good to think he may actually relax a little...only problem is...when he is away...our SL house can feel very empty

signed his submissive owned

Sunday, 1 January 2012

1st January 2012 (New Year Day) RL post

With respect to my Owner,

So with New Years day almost out i wanted to share some thoughts

Just as 2012 is changing in my SL life (there is much more to discuss in the coming few days on that score) the RL situation for us both is changing to.

My Owner and I have many plans for 2012, this has been a year on our calendar for ages now and as it has finally arrived there will be some new things ahead to experience and changes for both of us. So over the next few weeks and months things will hopefully slot into place and I can let you all in more on the big secrets surrounding us but for now my lips are sealed except to say we are both very happy and very secure in our D/s relationship and it has been developed by us to reflect us and will continue to do so!

My Owner will be experimenting more with the command and control issue in both SL and RL and I can't wait...I want to do him so very proud!

Oh and as a new year resolution I have decided that to follow my Owner's wish of updating my blog more often (he set a goal of twice every 7 days) I am going to try and go one step further with at least 3 posts a week if not more...hold onto your hats...2012 is going to be a wild ride

signed his submissive owned

New Year's Day 2012!...SL Post

With respect to my Owner,

So last night was New Year's Eve and before my Owner returned from a little business I got the twins dressed up, decorated the place and then dressed up myself in a brand new set of Black and White Silks.

We spent the night in...just the 2 of us and the twins...the rest of our kids were at their friends places seeing in the new year and that gave the 4 of us some much needed bonding fact it was rather funny because already the twins have very different personalities. Thor is the quiet one who appears to take after his father not only in looks but in temperament too and Gersemi likes to exercise her lungs regularly which, if I am honest, is very much like her Mother! They both however are very happy gurgling babies and often had us in stitches last night with their cooing and giggles at just the right moments!

Still back to the celebrations we spent it in front of the fire the majority of the evening, just having us time and it was very relaxing. We celebrated two Midnights one for my roots back in the UK and the other for the USA...watching both lots of celebrations on the HDTV in our theater and making wishes for the coming year ahead. Then we enjoyed the Fireworks we had at the back of our house as the twins stayed in the warm. The bright lights lit up the dark night sky as the bangs echoed and the ground beneath our feet shook. I quickly grabbed my camera and snapped pictures for the family album of the pretty sky with the moon clearly visible and then we made our way back inside.

Cuddled up with my Owner I couldn't help smiling to myself, I am a very lucky submissive woman. Now that the twins are here it is time I got back to being the submissive he knows and loves. I am aware that there are bound to be a lot of changes in our relationship this year. Firstly I am on a Pregnancy ban now for at least a year but I actually think the twins complete our family and I am not sure that we will have any more...I won't say we never will expand our family again but right now I don't feel the need to see anymore kids in our house...well for now anyway and of course talking of our family this past year has been very busy what with our wonderful Wedding day, new house and moving land...I think a slightly quieter year might be in order for 2012. Which reminds me later this month we will have been married 6 months! 6 months...I can't believe it!

So back to 2012, I know that this year my Owner will be exploring some new avenues in his control and command over me and I am fascinated to see what that will lead to! I am sure that whatever he does will enhance the deep bond and loving relationship that we already have and will also serve to surrender me into my submission in a much deeper way than I have experienced so far on this special journey

So with that in mind I just want to say this....I love you my Owner and look forward to it all

signed his submissive owned